you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
