Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
