im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize