Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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