i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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