YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
