just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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