He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize