I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
