I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
