Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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