vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
