I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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