Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
