i used baking grease as lip gloss
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The air taste purple.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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