oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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