the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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