I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
