Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
