My liver just broke up with me...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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