My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
