Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
