K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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