Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize