and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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