i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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