I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
