so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
