Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
