Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
