talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
