We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
did i just pee glitter
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
