I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize