I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
