i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize