What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
