i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize