Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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