everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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