Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize