He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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