i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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