Porn is love you can see.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
