i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
