Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
