Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im holly from the hills drunk
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
