If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
