just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
