He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
