I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
