Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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