This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
