Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
