I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
