Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
