If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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