The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I am available for nakedness
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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