Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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