I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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